I do Dubai

Eunice [Burns, played by Madeleine] Kahn

Poor first test Australia v Pakistan, it was so hard to get into you. There was so much going against you: the unreality of the off season, the unreality of a deserted stadium, no well-defined rivalry between the teams (at least from the Australian end), an apparently dead track, a big first innings total that seemed to suck out the likelihood of a good result or any result, Dean Jones. 

It happened eventually, right at the end, because of the drama of all the ‘almost’ chances and because I realised how unfair it was that I was yawning at a game in which Pakistan had rolled Australia twice on that 'dead' track, had 2 centuries in each innings, one of which was made off 80 balls, two of which were made by a dropped veteran returning to save his country’s honour, plus a feisty spinner who took 7 wickets for 116 runs. It obviously wasn’t you, it was me.

Poor Pakistan. Of all the reputations a team could have, the combo of ‘flaky’ + ‘shady’ has to be the worst. Your successes are suspected of being insubstantial, your failures of being intentional. On top of that, you have to play in exile in those glittering, ghost town grounds. Is it patronising to hope this is the start of better things? Will I come to regret that sentiment?

Note to Pakistani spectators: I like your headgear and fluffy toys, but they are not helping with the ‘flaky’ bit.

PS. This is my century too. 100 posts! Thanks for coming!

Limbering up

I heard Shane Watson was playing for Sutherland against Randwick Petersham (the "Randy Petes") in a T20 at Coogee Oval today, so I went down to catch the last half hour. It’s a bit shameful I’ve never done that before in 7 years of living in Coogee and a bit weird Shane Watson should get me down there. I’ll argue that I’m a results-driven person and despite the bucolic appeal of a lazy afternoon at a weekend grade match – a thousand cricket paintings and poems make the case – I NEED ANSWERS, so the end bit of an already abbreviated game suits me well. I feel like the other kind of match is one you drop in on while doing something else. You’re out for a walk or a drive and oh look, there’s a game of cricket going on, let’s stop and watch a few overs and oh look they do a nice afternoon tea, isn't this lovely.

I knew I was at a local grade match because they sold Samboy barbecue chips at the kiosk, the sixes hit trees and there were no replays. Samboy chips! My stand-out memory of Samboy chips is seeing the H.R. Pufnstuf movie in the 70s and holding a packet up in front of my face during a stressful scene involving Witchiepoo. Sixes hit trees! Three good ones while I was there: hitting a tree, into the car park and into the street. No replays! Not long after I arrived (Randy Petes on 0/47 in the 9th over chasing 97) there was a wicket taken with a very good slips catch that I was looking forward to seeing again until, well, realising I wouldn’t… I started pondering the fact that almost all events plunk into the universe and immediately evaporate never to be seen again. Well, der, but it felt a bit freaky. I wasn’t stoned.

The Randy Petes had it and further to the local grade match vibe I could hear them singing their team song in the dressing room on the way out, to the tune of Little Peter Rabbit Had a Fly Upon His Nose. Sorry, Glory, glory, hallelujah! But presumably the Rabbitohs team song is to the tune of Little Peter Rabbit Had a Fly Upon His Nose.

P.S. No Shane Watson in the end! Not while I was there anyway. Not that it mattered.

My thoughts from the Australia v Pakistan ODI series

1. Shahid Afridi and Manu Feildel

It was really hard to find a picture of Manu Feildel looking moody and really hard to find a picture of Shahid Afridi looking cheery.

2. Anwar Ali and Rufus Sewell

Look for a picture of Rufus Sewell and prepare for a thousand bedroom eyes. I've tried to avoid that here.

3. And I saw Footloose for the first time a couple of weeks ago, so...

It's the eau de ferret.

4. Dean Jones was a bit of a trial as a commentator. He was irritatingly agog during the last over of the last match when Maxwell clinched the deal for Australia with a double wicket maiden. Come on, I thought, it’s not like it’s the final over of Australia’s second semi-final against South Africa in the 1999 WorldCup. Although there was a touch of the Hanse about Afridi’s dark looks from the sideline. I don’t mean in that way.