Laird of the Lairs

I jumped up and down and clapped my hands and hooted when I saw Warnie leading the pack out onto the ground in the Australian Cricketers' Association XI v Australian XI T20 game last night. And hooted pretty much every time he was shown on screen—because of joy, of course, but also no small amount of hilarity.

Warnie, you are such a Lair. You are a Hilarious Lair. You are Laird of the Lairs. "Lair" is apparently an Australia-specific slang term, and I'm not surprised given people like Warnie wandering around.

Let me count the ways. I think he's been dyeing his eyelashes for a while, but is it possible a little eyebrow-waxing has entered the picture? On top of the blonde-tipping, yeah-yeahing, teeth-whitening, sun-bedding (would Warnie go the fake tan or the full carcinogen-rich approach? I suspect the latter—it could after all be a full-body nicotine stain…) and my flatmate read that striking shiny smoothness as assisted by the botulinum toxin: hardly unlikely.

I mock not, of course. I delight in.

Other things from the night:

Generation X Captain Warnie's recurring "Noice…" vs Generation Y Captain Clarke's recurring "Awesome…"

Healy on Lee Carseldine's tremendous 6 at the beginning of over 14: "Look at the contact, look at the carry, look at the camerawork…"

And who was that hollow-eyed young man from a Flannery O'Connor novel that bowled the last over? Nathan Rimmington, taking Movember's mission to raise awareness of male depression and wasting diseases to a whole new level.

Getty Images (c) 2009