Sydney Test

Wow, that was fast. And it seems that speed made all the difference. I'm not sure how I feel about that, as much as I lerv our man Mitchell. 

I used to think that the reason spin bowling drew me to cricket was that it was more mysterious than fast bowling. I thought I "understood" fast bowling as sheer mechanical force, whereas being able to manipulate the trajectory of a ball in the air after it left the hand, and then after it hit the ground the way Warnie did seemed frankly supernatural. I didn't understand fast bowling at all of course, because it also involves all of those things, but when it is about the difference extreme speed makes I feel like it's getting back to a blunt force thing. And I don't know how I feel about that. The physical violence makes me uneasy. I probably again underestimate the level of skill involved, both in doing it and playing it. That's something that can be said for the Morgan-Lee fracas: it really showed how much skill the professional players have in negotiating those kind of deliveries and not looking like a flailing idiot. It helps not being Piers Morgan of course.

Well done him

Kerry! I didn’t warm to Kerry O’Keeffe at first because the sounds he made made me uncomfortable (I am an easily discomfited soul). Not the Muttley wheeze-laugh, the groan-whine that comes after it. It sounded a bit dirty and it creeped me out.

The turning point came in January 2003 when Steve Waugh was working his way towards his last-ball century at the SCG. Everyone was excited, and Kerry was excited to the point that he started rapping. He started chanting the chorus of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”:

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow this opportunity comes once in a lifetime

It was excruciating in a “oh no, Dad’s rapping” way, and there was this appalled/stunned/confused silence from the rest of the box, and then it was the best thing ever. So inappropriate and so appropriate, the beauty and bravery of bringing Detroit hip hop into an Ashes Test commentary box, leapfrogging cultures and generations and classes. He wasn't even trying to be funny or clever. I was impressed.

Also impressive: the shrewd, dead-eyed biomechanical analysis. A real empiricist, all that staying up late pausing and rewinding. I understand nothing of biomechanics (see top), but I'd still love the way he'd size up players like racehorses and take them apart. It always conjured up an image of an earlier Kerry who'd spend too much time at the track, and where he came from is probably the greatest thing about Kerry. Kerry's persona is basically a loser. The loser he was/is/wasn't/isn't. It's the edge to all the playing the fool, so near and yet so far.

Kerry sayings: "Well done him", "How good?" and referring to players by their first initials and place of origin, as in "M. J. Clarke, Liverpool, NSW. Well done him".

With Roebuck gone and now Kerry, who will be the characters in the Australian commentary box?

Lookalike sweepings

I started calling Alastair Cook "Duckface" this season because he has striking bone structure like the character of the same name in Four Weddings and a Funeral, because anything with "duck" in it suits cricket glumness and because I'm mean.

I'm trying to sell the idea that Ryan Harris is the missing link no one knew existed between Anthony LaPaglia and Mathew Le Nevez, but my sounding board can't even see the LaPaglia bit which I thought was the easy sell in that equation so I don't know any more.

Would you instead be interested, as a T20 aside, in some Ben Cutting as Oliver Hudson?

Next time: the Ads of the Ashes