Edgbaston

The BBC have developed an app that makes your phone vibrate whenever a wicket falls. I guess there were some pretty aroused Brits around yesterday, that Australian middle order collapse may even have brought some ladies home.

The question it raised for me was: sure, Nevill can keep, but can he bat like Haddin? After the familiar clatter of wickets I was ready for Brad “Sandbags” Haddins to step up and stick around for a while, but it was Nevill and he passed like a light cloud. I associate Haddin with no-nonsense professionalism. Keeping, batting, sledging, it’s a job that has to be done and there’s no reason to be fretful or sentimental about it. And because it’s just a job there’s no question about priorities when real life intervenes. But I think Cricket Australia may have out-Haddined Haddin himself with its ‘nothing personal’. Ouch.

I was looking forward to this game when I saw Johnny Bairstow and Finn in the line-up, as they are both figures of great fun in this house. Bairstow is “Cranky Johnny” or “Heeeeeere’s” Johnny, from I can’t remember when, but for all I know he’s been off on a yoga retreat while out of the team and has found inner peace and love with the universe. We’ll see when he puts on his helmet. Steve Finn is “Lesser Spandau” in my mind because… I see him on the far right of a band photo in Smash Hits, Spandau Ballet’s second keyboardist on their 4th album, with the floppy fringe and an asymmetrical zipped white leather jacket. I suppose I should call him Greater Spandau now. Or Intermediate Spandau, let’s not get carried away.

We figured Warner called for the review because with Watto gone the team had an extra up its sleeve. SR Watson, gone but never forgotten.

Ads of note

Advanced Hair. I thank him for his illustration of the meaning of a ‘shock’ of hair, but how come “Tom of Finland” speaks like a Londoner?