Going into our first innings, it seemed like maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Except that, hang on, what were we just saying? Our bowling is stronger than our batting. The bowling. Stronger. The batting. Weaker. Something about a "crumbly top order". Something about ulcers. That's right.
Lookalikes
I think Nasser Hussain is quite dashing-looking generally, but when he was doing some analysis of Bairstow's batting last night they found a horrible camera angle on him that made him look like Dobby the House Elf.
On the subject of Bairstow, I am still looking for the appropriate Ronald Searle illustration. He has an unpleasant nostrilly schoolboy look.
And speaking of unpleasant, I listened to the streaming Grandstand commentary for a bit, and I was enjoying hearing all the old boys again - Bloers, Aggers, Tuffnell - but then internet echo started making Bloers sound like Davros.
Latecomers
Well, obviously I love Steve Smith at the moment. He's surprisingly reassuring for one so fidgety. Wasn't he one of the great white spinner hopes when he started out? Please mum, can he be our all-rounder instead of Wotto?
As for our littlest baggy green, I'm reading the Game of Thrones books at the moment, so I prefer to think of him as Aegar.
He gave me hope on the names for things front. I watched him bowl a couple of balls and turned to my couch companion: "Would you say he "flights" the ball a fair bit?" "Yes." Yes! On the other hand, I thought Peter Siddle had abandoned his first delivery when he was actually just practicing his run-up and didn't even have the ball in his hand. Note to self: small, round, red.
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