13 December 2014

Olympique Lyonnais

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Well, God bless Nathan Lyon. I felt for him. He got 5 wickets in the first innings and then the collective goldfish did a circuit of the bowl, fixed him with a googly stare and said: “Who are you? Remind me again why you're here?” Then the collective elephant whispered: “If you don’t win this for us you will will mess up the whole 'we're doing it for Phil/he's doing it for us' thing. You will have dishonoured the memory of Phillip Hughes and all we have achieved in this game in his name. No pressure.”

Nathan has done the responsible thing, hair-wise, severing all connections with the past. Warnie however has made me a liar and reintroduced his hair to bleaching agents somewhere between Macksville and Adelaide. I can hardly complain at the return to sanity, though I was sort of looking forward to some on-going flabbergastion.

Poor Virat Kohli. 
Back in 2001 on a proto-Batsy website I suggested that if we were teaching human emotions through cricket, V.V.S. Laxman was an object lesson in Dismay when he was caught out in Kolkata. I don’t remember now how Laxman looked, but I suspect it was something like Kohli, who was a veritable powerpoint presentation in Distraught with an edge of Nausea. 

For a team who famously reject the DRS, India sure get a lot of dud decisions. They can only resort to the ancient and totally ineffectual technology of the Stare. To be fair they are very good at it.
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