I had the ultimate Boxing Day yesterday: a beach swim before a late breakfast of leg-ham and egg in front of the toss, then rising from the couch only to make myself a turkey and stuffing sandwich, a bowl of cold pudding and custard, or to go for a nice nap. The pudding however was seeking solace after Ponting's dismissal, the nap seeking oblivion after Hussey went, and the couch useful mainly for having a back I could push my head into.
But the "oh no oh no oh no" when the wickets fell was nothing to the "OH NO OH NO OH NO" upon seeing Johnson spraying one so far down the off side that the fact it wasn't called a wide can only be a Christmas miracle. There's being up shit creek and there's not having the paddle.
So can we move off the sports and onto the comic pages? Let's shall.
1. I noticed before the start that BOTH the English and Australian anthems have sprouted fiddly trills at the beginning in an attempt to distract from what dogs they are. The Australian one has certainly done that for a while, I hadn't noticed it on God Save the Queen, though I must say the whole of God Save the Queen makes the Australian anthem appear less of a dog.
2. Early in the piece, Kevin Pietersen diving after missing a catch off Watson, in the soccer sense of the term.
3. I've only just noticed Chris Tremlett's cheekbones. In the 80s, whenever I saw Ivan Lendl I could not put aside the idea that every night before going to bed he would strap two tennis balls to his head so that each one nestled in the hollow of a cheek. Same deal with Tremlett, substitute cricket balls.
4. Bresnan: a return to the potatoey English bowler of yesteryear (specifically, 2005) - the love child perhaps of Caddick and Harmison?
5. Oh ads, the irony you conceal. I had the sound down, but there appeared to be an ad where the Aussies "gave the Poms a chance" by batting blindfold. You can stop that right now. "Just keep walking" also had a barb that was surely not intended.
Anyway, to the barricades/couch for day 2.
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